More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
