i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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