just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
This is my gift to your gina
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
