I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
