no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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