I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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