I need to stop coming to work sober
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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