just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize