I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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