We named our party play list daddy issues
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize