sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
