the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
