You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
