I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
