the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize