I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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