Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
We need to get me chipped asap
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