my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
