I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
