...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
