haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
