i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
