You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize