sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
