I will die if light touches me.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
