whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I haven't been this sober since birth.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
