Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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