we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
