Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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