I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
