How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
