I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
