google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
