oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
