Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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