quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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