Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I want to fling myself into the sun
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize