I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
