Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I AM VODKA MAN
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
