I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize