I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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