so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
