I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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