I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
