i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
