I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
