He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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