so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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