I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
