brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
