dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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