were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
That's when you crack a 10am beer
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize