left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
