For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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