Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
