Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
