And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
