I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
