Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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