drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
