So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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