Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
