she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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