it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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