I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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