Sponge bath it is.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
