I just saw a hot homeless man
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
